May 13th, 2013 started like any other Monday. I went to my classes as usual throughout the day. After lunch, I went to English class.

That day, in English class, we weren’t writing essays or doing “boring” things like that. We were learning about sex in the media.

Throughout the class period, we were watching interesting videos and having meaningful discussions to help formulate our opinions on this issue. With no warning, I hear a yell: “Is that James Franco?”

It was well known around school that Mr. Franco was back in town and visiting our school, his alma mater. Students were on alert for any sighting of him, yet it still came as a surprise when we saw him walk past our classroom door talking to a one-person film crew.

Our teacher rushed out and corraled him into the classroom. After Mr. Franco reluctantly quieted the screaming fangirls among us, he asked us what we were learning about in class.

Because actors spend their careers talking and performing in the public eye, it is natural to assume that they are articulate and eloquent speakers. This assumption holds true for many actors. Unfortunately for Mr. Franco, he is not one of them.

After learning the topic of our discussion, Mr. Franco proceeded to deliver the flattest, most vapid speech that I have ever had the misfortune to experience.

He told us that over sexualization in the media is bad. I know this description sounds like a summary, but it was in fact his entire position on the issue.

Worse than his speech’s content was his delivery. His delivery convinced our class that he was speaking under the influence of recreational drugs.

After letting the fangirls among us pander his ego a short while longer with pictures and hugs, Mr. Franco and his one-man camera crew beat a hasty retreat, never to be seen again in our classroom.

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     © Chris Hinstorff 2018